I am at Jane (my cancer stricken, eyebrow-free, nauseous as hell friend's) house keeping her company and getting some work done. Here's how Jane views my selfless dedication both to her and my professional development.

Jane: "It's 3:30pm, you've gone to the gym, gone shopping, eaten sushi, and broken your phone. It's like ab-fab. You're a workaholic."

Miriam: "Shut-up..."

Jane: "I'm just jealous because you have a job."

Miriam: " I don't have a job! I have an RFP where they spelled my name Miriam Verbug"

Jane: "Okay well, then I'm jealous because you have stuff to do and like, would have phone calls to make if you hadn't already broken your phone."

***

Miriam: "I love hanging out here."

Jane:" You do?"

Miriam: "I do, it's so much more productive than at home."

***

Miriam: "You should totally add the "Dolly Parton quotes and lyrics" application to your Facebook profile"

Jane: "Do they include the one where she says the Jews own Hollywood?"

Miriam:"Did she say that?"

Jane" "She did."

Miriam: (sighs) "Everyone makes mistakes."

Jane: "But it's true."

Jane: "Now it's on the record, that I am just so wrong."

Miriam: "You have cancer you can't be wrong."

Jane: "That's true, thanks for not writing what I said about Barack Obama."